FORGIVENESS- BEST GIFT TO GIVE SOMEONE

FORGIVENESS IS TRICKY

We have a misconception regarding forgiveness that it means just to forget the person who did something wrong to us. Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they deserve your forgiveness. Forgiveness neither means forgetting nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hurt you, for hurting me. It is impossible to live on this fallen planet without getting hurt, offended, misunderstood, lied to, and rejected. Learning how to respond properly is one of the basics of life.

FORGIVENESS SETS US FREE

Forgiveness makes us a better person. It’s about showing up that I’m a better person that I forgave the person who harmed me. It helps to make the relationship stronger. People sometimes forgive for their own selfish reasons. Forgiveness is not about expecting something in return. It’s about accepting the situation as it is. So forgiveness sets us free and also has some advantages.

· Forgiveness calms us. …

· Forgiveness opens the door to healthier relationships. …

· Forgiveness creates great inner strength. …

· Forgiveness is the path for spiritual happiness.

FORGIVENESS REQUIRES HUMILITY

You will never be able to move on until you forgive. It is as simple as that. … The key to being able to forgive is humility, something that our society does not promote as an important personal trait. “The two things that we were told to forget are the good we’ve done for others and the bad others have done to us.” If we fixate on and are impressed by our own good deeds, our ego grows, an ego is the opposite of humility. And if others treat us badly, we have to let that go too. There is a great example of forgiveness and humility that I most like.

In 1993, Marry Johnson’s son, Laramiun Byrd, was just twenty years old when, after an argument at a party, he was shot in the head by sixteen-year-old Oshea Israel, who served more than fifteen years in prison for the killing. Johnson probably had the most valid reason any of us can imagine for hating someone and hate Israel she did. Eventually, it struck her that she wasn’t the only one hurting; Israel’s family had lost their son too. Johnson decided to start a support group called from Death to Life for other mothers whose children had been killed, and she wanted to include mothers whose children had taken a life. Johnson didn’t think she could deal with the mothers of murderers unless she truly forgave Israel, so she reached out and asked to speak to him. When they met, he asked if he could hug her. She says, “As I got up, I felt something rising from the soles of my feet and leaving me.” After the initial meeting, the pair began to meet regularly, and when Israel was released from prison, Johnson spoke to her landlord and asked if Israel could move into her building.

“Unforgiveness is like cancer. It will eat you from inside out,” says Johnson. She wears a necklace with a double-sided locket; on one side is a picture of her with her son, and on the other is a picture of Israel, who says he is still trying to forgive himself. The pair, who now live next door to each other, visit prisons and churches to talk about their story and the power of forgiveness.

Remembering your mistakes and forgetting your achievements restrains the ego and increase gratitude- a simple, effective recipe for humility.

FORGIVENESS IS A MANIFESTATION OF LOVE

Forgiveness is ultimately an act of love for yourself — to allow you to feel peace, joy, and love again. It not only helps heal your emotional scars but physical ones, too. People who truly love each other, be any relation, will forgive one another because of their outgoing concern for each other. Forgiveness is one way of expressing love and commitment to another human being. So think like a whole world is your family and make forgiveness and love a habit. I always feel lucky to have such a relationship with my two sisters, I mention in most of the conversations, Hetal Joshi and Pratiksha Dave. They are the ones where I learn forgiveness. One is my elder sister, and another is a younger one but both are like mothers to me. They always care for me and support me in every condition of my life, no matter what. Hetal Joshi is my elder sister and I never require forgiveness from her side. She gets angry with me sometimes but it's always short-lived and forgives me for every mistake. Pratiksha Dave is my little sister, and I’m blessed to have her. Because it's very tough for anyone to be my sister and not getting angry at me. But she is different, in our relationship period of around 7 years, she hasn’t been angry with me for even once, no matter how much I annoy her or make fun of her. It’s because she understands our relationship and me. And gives importance to the relationship over any other temporary emotion. So forgiveness is her habit and I know whatever be the situation she will always understand me and love me. That's what a relationship is all about, giving importance to the person over any other matter. So I learned forgiveness and humility from both of my sisters, and words will always fall short to describe them. Where there is love, there is forgiveness. Love all and always forgive everyone who harmed you or did bad to you.

FORGIVE AND FORGET

So people often say that if a person is important then forget the mistakes, and if a person is not important then forget a person. I would like to correct it with, “No matter if a person is important or not, but forgiveness must be given to a person even if you forget the matter or not.” Forgive and forget is a path to peace. First, forget a matter which hurts you and then forgive the person who hurts you. To talk with the same trust is not necessary after betrayal, but to forgive that person is necessary for everyone. To forgive someone and to ask for forgiveness, are the most important aspects of your spiritual growth. … It is an emotion that is felt deep within you, and when real forgiveness happens there is a change in that relationship. This is the test of forgiveness.

FORGIVENESS ACCORDING TO THE BHAGAVAD GITA

Human beings are complex characters. Sometimes we hurt, and sometimes we are hurt. In both situations, we cannot avoid suffering. The attitude of forgiveness is a culmination of spiritual practice and inner growth. By cultivating it, one can cultivate all other related virtues. Whether you forgive someone or not, it depends upon the circumstances and your essential nature. In spiritual practice, you learn to forgive others unconditionally, irrespective of circumstances. Thus, the attitude of forgiveness belongs to a higher state of mind. One can attain that state and cultivate forgiving nature by self-purification through spiritual practice. The Bhagavad Gita (10.4) clearly states that forgiveness arises from God only. Lord Krishna points out that forgiveness is one of the great qualities everyone should practice and aspire for.